you’ve hurt me
more times than I can count.
I would not be the person who cries
for unknown pain.
I would not be the person who believes
in the wisdom of words.
I would not be the person I am.
when I most wish you would leave
you remain the longest.
I would not be the girl who understands
I would not know how to find light
in the blackest dark.
I would not know the beauty of
I’ve spent so much time fighting you.
yet what I fought most is also
who I am.
part of me.
without you—without you I would not
Because of you
I am the girl who finds beauty
in pain, love
in hurt, joy
gratitude, for every wounded part.
Because of you, I know who I am,
and who I am not.
more clearly than I could have ever imagined.
this is not a love letter.
I do not love you.
Yet, I know to thank you, now.
because, because of you
who I am meant to be.